Unfu*k yourself
But first, fu*k yourself up real good
Don’t worry! This isn’t copyright infringement. I am not claiming this as my title. I’m talking about the very famous book, “Unf*ck Yourself”. You may have heard of it. I just started reading it. Yay.
I am not here to bash the book. I actually quite like it so far. I really believe in the principle that your subconscious mind controls your life and it can be reprogrammed to better your life and make things come more easily as a result. I am 100% on board with this and this is really the principle, as I understand it, of manifestation. Currently, I am knee deep in manifestation and how to manifest money and the like. I have made a conscious choice that whether or not it’s real, I don’t care, I believe it’s real. I actually want to write an upcoming post on “Can you manifest weight loss?”, I’ve been thinking about it for a while. But that’s for another day.
However…the book has one big flaw. And that is that it keeps talking about three things as examples. Getting the money you want, the relationship you want, and…weight loss.
Don’t get me wrong. I understand. I do. I really, really do. More than you know. Weight loss is something we are taught to chase after. And if that’s what you want, I am not here to judge. How can I judge? I am sitting in the same exact culture wanting the same exact things even if I know better.
Here’s the problem. I get wanting to make the money you dream of. Money buys you all the things you want, including time. You can hire help to take care of all the tasks you don’t want to do. In my case, I dream of having around-the-clock nannies to help with all the annoying things I have to do as a mother so I can actually enjoy my time with the kids instead of trying to do it all. I LOVE money and I’m not ashamed! To me, money equals freedom and is certainly one major sign of success.
I completely understand wanting to get the relationship you dream of. Of course! Spending your life with the one who understands you the most is really f*cking important. And when you’re on your way out of this world, looking back on your life, you’ll remember the people in it (the relationships) and the experiences (many of which are made possible by money). My life would be a lot less rich without my husband (awww, cue the hearts).
However…when you’re on your deathbed looking back on your life, apparently, you will wistfully look at your loved ones and declare, “I am so happy I got to spend time with you, I am so happy I got to pursue my dreams and make money from them, and thank the lord that I was a size 2!” Apparently, being the smallest possible size is right up there with finding your ONE and making a comfortable living so you don’t have to struggle with money.
But, to make matters worse, the author talks about how you have to look at what you’re willing to do. Are you willing to cut out all your favorite foods?
Ummm…should you be willing to do so? And if you did cut out all your favorite foods, how long before biology took over and drove you to a binge so big, you couldn’t stand up the next day? And should you be willing to enter the restrict-binge-guilt-restrict cycle? And is that going to be one of your life’s biggest accomplishments? Isn’t that what the book implies? That there are three major life accomplishments we all want.
I mean, if you are looking to fu*k yourself up in the head more, then, by all means, take this advice. I just thought the book was meant to help you not get in your own way, but what do I know?
Not to mention, there are people who eat all their favorite foods all the time and don’t gain weight. There are people who restrict all the time and are always at a higher weight than they want to be. There are people who are doing all the “right” things (aka exercise and diet) and are not where they want to be at all (been there, done that).
So are you willing is a really bad question in this case (this is a mantra the author proposes you say to yourself, “I am willing” as in I’m willing to do this to get that and “I am not willing” as in I’m not willing to put up with this any longer.
Maybe a better question is, “are you willing to love yourself unconditionally no matter what? Are you willing to put your health- including your mental health- first?” And as we’ve discussed previously, your health and weight loss have nothing to do with each other.
I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t want to lose weight or that you shouldn’t accept compliments when someone says “did you lose weight?” I’m human, too. I get that. I’ll take all the compliments. But is that going to be your biggest life achievement? B*tch, please. If it is, maybe you need to really re-evaluate that. Like right now.
On a totally separate note, the author asks something to the tune of, “are you willing to do what it takes to make the money you want? Are you willing to work up to 80 hours a week and sacrifice time with your family?”*
*There are not exact quotes, they are just the gist of what was said.
I could not disagree more with that. He actually later says it doesn’t take any more work to make $60k a year than it does to make $30k. Quite the discrepancy there.
I do not agree that you need to work 80 hours a week at the expense of time with your family in order to be rich. I’m not saying you don’t need to work, but 80 hours a week is just not necessary. Just like there are many hard-working people working double shifts and barely making ends meet, there are many people who have made their wealth making a good investment, coming up with a clever idea, being an influencer, whatever. As long as money is tied to time, it’s not real wealth. It’s once you separate the two that your world can expand.
If a digital creator launches a course, they put in the same work whether 5 people buy it or 5,000. The difference may be in promoting it, but no one promotes their products 80 hours a week. That’s just spam.
So no, I am not willing (or able) to work 80 hours a week. I am, however, willing to think outside the box to achieve wealth.
Woo! What an off topic subject for me. I know. But I’m more than just an intuitive eating lover, I have many interests :-)
I’d love to know your thoughts, let me know in the comments what your take of this book, if you’ve read it. I only recently started reading the Unfu*ck Yourself, so I may not have fully understood the principles, yet. I just needed to rant a little before moving on with it.
Talk soon!
Asya