The most popular sport at the gym

Backpedaling

Today, at the gym, I was talking to two women and one asked me if I'm still enjoying yoga. I have actually gone deep into yoga, I am in love! The other woman chimed in and we talked about how we love this teacher, Melanie, she brings such a spirituality to the practice. I love her! But then the other woman says "she is so fit, she does an hour and a half of yoga everyday and doesn't have an ounce of body fat on her" (which is totally true, she is lean as anyone has ever been). I said, "yes, but that has nothing to do with yoga". The woman looked at me with bewilderment. "What?" she said. I said, "if everyone moved and ate exactly the same, we would all still look different". She looked at me with wide eyes in disbelief. But then...came the backpedaling (which happens all the time). "No no! I was just describing her physical appearance! She's just so fit and I want to be fit, too!" Etc, etc, etc. Why do people always backpedal?

We proceeded to have a discussion of how in our society, we assume that fit looks like that, ultra lean. It doesn’t always. I said, “I’m incredibly fit, I do a lot of exercise. I don’t look like that.” She continued with “that’s great for you, as long as you feel good”. Now yes, good for me, for sure! It’s great for me. But…let’s not pretend that didn’t just happen. People always do this.

Now, is it right of me to attack people at the gym like this? Maybe. Maybe not. My goal is not so much to convert them to size inclusivity, I realize that takes a lot more than one conversation no matter how passionate I get, but to open their eyes to the box they’re in. I want people to see that the phrases they so carelessly toss about are harmful.

I don’t know this woman very well, but what I do know is that, by her logic, fitness looks like this yoga teacher. And it can! It’s just that it can also look like…me. Or you. Or 100 other body types.

This woman also explained how Melanie can do these amazing things in yoga, and is therefore super fit, and of course, she didn’t mean anything by the thin comment other than using it as neutral descriptor and how she didn’t mean to offend anyone, etc.

Let’s break that down. I know she didn’t mean to offend anyone. It is in our culture to say things like “that person looks great! Not an ounce of fat on her!” Why? Because we assume fat is bad and thin is good. Before you hop on your bike and start backpedaling, think about this statement. Yes. You too. No, I am not saying you’re a bad person. I am saying we have cultural beliefs that are engrained in us. That is one of them.

In the same way, our culture used to think that having dark skin is inherently bad and light skin is inherently good. This is no different.

I brought this up to the woman but she did not see the comparison. So let’s dig in! Being fatphobic, aka, thinking being fat is bad and being thin is good, is exactly like being racist. It’s just more acceptable at this point in time in our culture.

You are saying one type of person is better than another due to their physical appearance. That is racism, no? I am sure the argument would be that “well, people can control their weight but not their skin color”. Au contraire, my hypocritical friend.

You can get tan to make skin darker. You can use skin bleachers to make skin lighter. You can even get an operation to make your skin white!

“Wow, that’s racist and those are dangerous things! No one should have to do that to fit in.”

I really hope that was your response. I really really do! Because this is where it’s exactly the same. Yes, to get smaller you can diet, which will mess up your metabolism and you’ll regain the weight anyways. You can get surgery, right? Those carry their own risks and the chances of the weight coming back.

So…should fat and “fat” (since this term is actually super subjective) people put themselves in harm’s way to satisfy society’s disgust with fat?

And yes, of course there’s the argument of “but their health!”. Well, let’s not pretend you actually care about anyone’s health but you’re own. Really. You don’t care. Just admit it. It’s okay. No one has the capacity to care about everyone, right? That doesn’t make you selfish, just human. And secondly, weight loss and health are not at all tied together like we’ve been taught. Especially if you take into consideration that dieting, which leads to the yo-yo cycle, is detrimental to your health in way more ways than fat ever was. Not to mention, you discriminating against fat people is a huge stressor and that is definitely bad for people’s health.

And…doctors also have this bias. So when fat people come to the doctor, no matter their ailment, more likely than not they’re told to lose weight. Never mind that there is NO proven permanent weight loss method.

From the National Library of Medicine:

“Weight loss can be achieved through a variety of modalities, but long-term maintenance of lost weight is much more challenging. Obesity interventions typically result in early rapid weight loss followed by a weight plateau and progressive regain.”

I know some of you out there are still on your high horses about how some people really need to lose weight. To which I say, then focus on healthy habits with no emphasis of weight loss. Focus on sleep. Stress reduction. Fun and enjoyable movement. Intuitive eating. Connecting with their bodies. Access to more whole foods (not the store). The shame of being fat in our society should definitely be dealt with. Introduce concepts of self-love because fat people deserve to feel good about themselves, too. Etc. None of these things have to do with weight loss.

“Well all of that would result in weight loss”. Maybe. Maybe not. The point is to NOT emphasize that. What if people doing this have a set point that is much higher now thanks to dieting? What if they are at their perfectly healthy set weight and it’s only your judgment that thinks they’re fat? What if they’ve been on so many diets, their bodies are extra protecting them from losing weight and holding on to as much as possible? You have no idea what will happen to people’s bodies. But saying “lay off the sheet cake, fatty” is 100% not the way to go.

Until next time!

Asya