Hello everybody! How sad is this? I’ve been gone for ages, I know. It’s terrible. It’s bad. And I’m not proud of myself at all. And worst of all, it’s not the first time I’ve done that. Why? I swear it’s not because I’m a lazy bum! But I am a tired mom. In my last post, I wrote about how I just started my unschooling journey with my kids. A month later and hot damn, I’m decision fatigued to the core. SO. MANY. DECISIONS.
If you don’t know what decision fatigue is, it’s the tiredness that sets in when you’ve had to make too many decisions. It’s really taxing and difficult especially for those with ADHD. It’s also something that, I bet, happens to a lot of moms.
How will this go? How many activities should I plan? What is the best way to handle this meltdown? I need some alone time. What is too much alone time? Are they getting outside enough? Are they getting enough learning opportunities? How do I take care of my needs and theirs as well? Am I doing the right thing? I have these appointments and this activity, how do I make sure to fit it all in? And food! How do I make this many meals everyday for my kids to eat and snack on, good god!
As an intuitive eater myself, I think it is of the utmost importance to never take away my kids’ natural intuitive eating abilities. But holy mother f, that’s hard. Right? It can’t just be me?
This has been a huge problem for me. Over the years, the kids have gone through phases. They’ll eat this but not that, this but only if I make it exactly like last time, that but only sometimes, etc. I want to expand their repertoire without pressuring or forcing them. I also want to stop wasting food and I need them to eat what I make. I want to spend less money on food and I don’t want them eating the snacks meant for outings at home because that sh*t’s expensive.
This is just a peek inside my head. As you can see, it’s exhausting.
I know some people are single parents with 5 kids and they make homemade meals everyday that everyone eats (I don’t know this, maybe I’m just imagining it). That is not me.
As with intuitive eating, which is really child-led eating, unschooling is child-led education. As in you have to fully trust your kids to follow their interests and sh*t. It’s scary! Intuitive eating is also scary. Are they eating too much “junk”? Are they getting all the nutrition they need? Are they really not hungry or are they manipulating me by saying they’re not hungry and then asking for a snack later that they know is more appealing to them? I have legitimately had the thought of just letting them eat whatever they want and seeing how that goes. Wouldn’t that, like, take off the pressure?
So that’s where I’ve been. Over-deciding and under-preforming. I would love to hear thoughts on how people raise intuitive eaters. I even bought the course from Feeding Littles and the biggest takeaway I got was “You decide what and when they eat, they decide how much.” Doesn’t that sound nice and simple, on paper anyways? It has not been.
Part of unschooling is keeping kids’ natural curiosity to learn and not interfering with it. Intuitive eating is also about keeping some innate abilities kids already have and not interfering with them. It all sounds easy. Just keep it going. But the pressures of the world makes it hard. “Make sure you don’t let them have too much sugar” and “Make sure you have good structure in your homeschool” sound the same to me right now. They both sound like, “Trust yourself and your kids, but not too much”.
Signed,
A confused mother trying to do her best,
Asya
You’re doing your very best! I see you’re working so hard. Keep doing what works for you and your family. I’m rooting for you