A super weird post from a super weird mind
I'm not sure where this came from, but do enjoy!
Eaters Anonymous
Michelle, the group leader: “Welcome everyone to our weekly Eaters Anonymous meeting! Let’s welcome our new member, Jenny.”
Light clapping
“Before we start, I want to remind everyone that we are called “Eaters Anonymous” and not “Overeaters Anonymous” because there is no such thing as a reasonable amount of food. Can I get a “Hoora!”?
Group: “Hoora!”
Michelle: “Jenny, welcome and that’s how we start every meeting. Would you like to tell your story?”
Shakily drawing in her breath, Jenny nods, “Yes”. She takes a deep inhale, exhales, and proceeds.
“I was eating every day. Multiple times a day, up to 5, maybe even 6 times when I was at my worst. I would go out with friends and have a few drinks and order pizzas, nachos, cheese plates, or whatever else was on the menu. Everybody probably thought I was normal and would only eat with others or on special occasions, but that wasn’t the case at all. I kept it hidden, for so long, I was a closet eater. I would wake up and eat, I would eat in the middle of the day, I would eat before bed.”
Jenny shudders with shame as she talks. Tears start welling up in her eyes.
Michelle: “Go on Jenny, we’ve all been there and that’s why you’re here. You may not realize it, but it’s likely those same friends you went out with, the ones you were hiding your secret from, were also closet eaters. Eating is more prevalent in our society than we would care to admit. Some studies even show that 100% of people have some form of eating problem at some point in their lives.
Our goal here is to uncover our hidden feelings about food and why we eat and how to stop it. Jenny, at what point did you decide to come here and get help?”
Jenny: “I knew I had to change things when I realized I was spending thousands of dollars a month on food! You would think it was necessary to live the way I was eating it.”
The group nods in agreement.
Nicky, group member: “I hope you don’t mind me chiming in, but we’ve all been there, that’s why we’re here. It’s so hard. Food is all around us and we know it’s meant to be eaten every once in a while but it’s like, the longer you go without it, the more you want it! It really is an addiction.”
Jenny: She starts sobbing in what appears to be a mix of relief, joy, and unburdening herself.
“I am so happy I found you. I really didn’t know where to turn. I always look at cookbooks, think about how I will prepare my food, when I’ll eat it, how it’ll taste, I’m obsessed! I just don’t know how to stop this downward spiral!”
Michelle: “Go on Jenny, get it all out! We are all on a healing journey and you are one step closer today to kicking your food addiction. There is no shame here, we’ve heard it all. Who else would like to share their story with Jenny? The more we share, the more we can destigmatize our shame and let go of our dependence on food.”
Ross, group member: “I can share.”
Michelle: “Thank you Ross for being vulnerable and willing to share, go on.”
Ross: “I would go to grocery stores and tell myself, ‘This time will be different, I’m just there to look’. But inevitably, I would cave. I would start buying groceries and loading up my cart. When I would go to the cashier and they carded me*, they always gave me a dirty look but I would make up some excuse of how it’s for a month’s worth of eating for my entire office building, or apartment building, or whatever seemed to fit the amount of food I was buying. It was really bad. Sometimes, I couldn’t remember what lie I told at which store, and I was tangled in my own web of lies. Deep down, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew that no one should have this amount of food at any given time, yet there I was, already planning the stir fries I would make or the dumplings I would have.
I used to not be able to tell that to anyone without crying about it, but thanks to this group, I can distance myself from it. I’ve processed it, I’ve owned it, and now I know, that’s not me anymore. I have my life together. I don’t eat anymore, and it’s so freeing. The hunger is still there, don’t get me wrong. The hunger is always there, but I know it’s because I’m an addict and that will never go away.”
*Since food is a highly addictive substance, one must be at least 21 to purchase it.
Michelle: “Ross, that was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing such a relatable story. Our national parent chain of Eaters Anonymous has been petitioning the government to shut down grocery stores but so far, we have only had little successes here and there. It seems they are committed to keeping the public fed and unhealthy. It’s so sad.
The group all nods, appearing to agree in unison.
Michelle: “Would anyone like to share their recent wins? Oh, Piper, I see your hand is raised, go ahead.”
Piper, group member: “I used to not be able to see or feel my bones through my skin. It got so bad, I was up to a size 4!”
Audible gasp.
“I knew it was wrong, I knew it was unhealthy, but I just couldn’t help myself.”
Michelle: “Yes, let’s remember, you can’t talk yourself out of an addiction, even seeing the scale reach 100 pounds isn’t always enough to show us the truth, we’re eating. If scaring yourself out of addiction worked, no one would ever do anything unhealthy like smoke or eat. Go on, Piper.”
Nods of approval around the room.
Piper: “I knew I had to do something, I went to an anti-food clinic for help and started coming here once I was stable enough on my food-replacement substance to be trusted to be out in the world again. And now, look!”
Piper takes off her jacket to reveal rail-thin arms with bone protruding at every angle. Her collarbone juts out and her shoulder blades protrude. She is beaming.
“I’m just so happy to look this healthy again! Yesterday, someone offered me an apple, but I proudly said, ‘no’ and walked away! I had already had enough food replacement substance today, I told myself. I did think about that apple all night, but I guess that’s how I know I’m an addict.”
Michelle: “Yes, it’s a sad truth that once we are introduced to food, we can’t live without it. Unfortunately, most parents don’t understand this until it’s too late and give their newborn babies milk. While that is okay, it soon turns into solid foods and that’s where the lifelong addiction comes from. We are so lucky to live in a time of food-replacement substances. In the past, people who were already addicted to food, died of starvation when all they were trying to do was get back to their healthy true size. They say, if they had been able to wait just a few days longer, many people would have been rid of their addiction and could have gone on without food, but they never got to that point and died right before.”
The year is… in the not-so-distant future. In our ever-obsessed culture of shrinking our bodies, the government has set up campaigns warning people of the dangers of food. And while they have not yet shut down all grocery stores due to pressures from pro-food groups, they have put an age limit on food products.
Eaters Anonymous groups have popped up all over the country as people realize just how addicted they are to food and how much money, time, and effort food is costing them.
Studies have shown that because most people become dependent on food in infancy, they are forever addicts and it is important to establish a food-replacement protocol to support the population weaning from their addiction. During this process, many feel weak, lightheaded, sick, and overwhelmingly hungry. Studies have shown that this is normal and goes away within a few months when people begin to feel numb to these sensations.
Overall, the general population has seen a massive improvement in health outcomes as there are no longer chronic illnesses plaguing the nation, though life expectancy for both men and women has dropped significantly. Scientists are working on a way to combat this issue.